Friday, December 30, 2005
Ganguly Coaching Australian Cricket Team
As an avid cricket watcher, recent Ganguly-Chappell spat hurt me immensely. I was shattered and feeling pity on our former captain. Amidst my deep thinking and cursing Chappell for his ambiguous coaching tactics, I slept last night.
Without wasting much time, my dreams start preparing new pitch in their wonderland and my broken heart and shattered expectations started playing their shots on it. What I visualize was just the opposite of real life events!!!
I saw Mr. Creagh O’Connor (Chairman, Cricket Australia) announcing Honorable Mr. Ganguly as the new coach of Australian Cricket Team replacing old and butchered John Buchanan. He also announced that Greg Chappell would be the captain of Australian Team for upcoming Ashes series against England. Mr. Connor in his opening speech spoke optimistically about Saurav Ganguly and his laudable efforts in Indian Cricket. In between his words, he also cautioned Mr. Chappell about his recent poor form and fielding efforts and mentioned that under performing players will soon find themselves out of the team.
Very next day, Ganguly was out on the Melbourne Cricket Ground with Australian Cricket Team teaching them benefits of being fit and flexible. Here is how the conversation went: -
Ganguly: - Hello fellow Mikes!! Do you know the secret behind my successfully captaincy of Cricket team for 15 long years?? It was my emphasis on fitness and flexibility and I want you to follow them as well.
Chappell (Taunting in his brother’s ears): - Hey Ian!! Isn’t he the one who hold the record for maximum number of dropped catches??? Ha!! Ha!! (Laugh silently)
Ganguly: - Grrr!!! Hey Greg!! Are you listening to what I am saying?? You are the most unfit member of this team. Do you realize that?? How can you motivate your team members to remain fit??
Chappell: - Sir!!! I’m working on my fitness. I haven’t drunk Fosters since last week.
Ganguly: - Foolish Crap!! Then why you have this mammoth bowl in your stomach??? Ok!! Don’t waste my time and stand there separately. I want to start a new training program for you huge monsters.
(Chappell quietly goes and stand separately)
Ganguly: - Hey!!! You, you, you and you (pointing to 4 team members), you all go and stand with Chappell.
(Four others went and stand along Chappell)
Ganguly: - Now, you all five go and jog for 5 rounds of this stadium. Quick, on your marks… Get… Set… Go!!! (Blowing his whistle).
Chappell (along with others): - What!!! Have you become crazy?? Do you know I live next door and still I have come here by my Mercedes?? No!! No!! I cannot do this. (Shaking his head in disbelief).
Ganguly: - Stop this nonsense!!! This is a fitness session and you have to follow my order else I will go the Chairman and lodge complaint against your behavior.
Chappell: - What do you think I am afraid of that old mindless crap?? He cannot hurt me an inch. It’s me who recommended his name on the board and you will complain him regarding my fitness… Ha!! Ha!! Go and do whatever you feel like.
Ganguly: - Is that your final answer???
Chappell: - Yes!! Do you know I haven’t run this much in my whole life (After saying this, he walks out of the stadium furiously)
Ganguly (thinking): - Hmmm!!! I need to teach him a big lesson.
(Soon he finishes the proceedings with remaining members and come to his hotel room)
He opens his laptop and start writing a letter to the Chairman, Cricket Australia. Here is the excerpt (It looks like a baggage of lies more than the letter): -
Sir,
First of all a very good evening!!
With high optimism in your governance; I would like to highlight some astonishing facts about some of the current team members in Australian Team.
Today, when I reached the ground at 7:30 AM, everyone was present expect the Captain Greg Chappell. I specifically told him last night to come early. On questioning him, he gave me justification that he had 5 bottles of Fosters last night in a Night Club and slept at 3:00 AM in the morning. That’s why he was late for the training session.
Despite this inexcusable answer, I asked him politely to freshen up and go for routine jog around the ground so that he can be fit by the time crucial series against England start next month.
Ignoring my remarks, he rather taunted me that I should call you and let you jog instead of him. He also said that that you need to be more fit than him before the series since you carry the entire Board Functionality on your aging shoulders.
After saying these abusing remarks, he left the ground with his short-skirted girl friend, kissing her in front of other team members to deviate them from fitness regime. He even slapped her butt and pointed to us and said, “Fitness lies here!!!”
Sir, I’m gravely disappointed with this unruly behavior. I would also like to acknowledge that he is an over weight monster and a financial burden on already over loaded baggage of Cricket team especially during overseas tours.
Though taking your position into consideration, I would like to highlight the recent form of his brother Ian Chappell and his extreme devotion towards fitness. Today, not only he participated in the fitness session with high enthusiasm but also told me secretly that Greg is eyeing your wife and is often seen mingling with her during official parties.
With these hurting and embarrassing moments, I would like to close this letter and with a hope that you will definitely intervene in this whole matter.
With Regards,
Saurav Ganguly
(Well!! As we can perceive, the very next day Greg Chappell was thrown out of the team and me out of the bed by my mother)
Today, I’m feeling a relieved man because my favorite Saurav Ganguly has finally taken his revenge, though admittedly in my dreamzzzzz)
Without wasting much time, my dreams start preparing new pitch in their wonderland and my broken heart and shattered expectations started playing their shots on it. What I visualize was just the opposite of real life events!!!
I saw Mr. Creagh O’Connor (Chairman, Cricket Australia) announcing Honorable Mr. Ganguly as the new coach of Australian Cricket Team replacing old and butchered John Buchanan. He also announced that Greg Chappell would be the captain of Australian Team for upcoming Ashes series against England. Mr. Connor in his opening speech spoke optimistically about Saurav Ganguly and his laudable efforts in Indian Cricket. In between his words, he also cautioned Mr. Chappell about his recent poor form and fielding efforts and mentioned that under performing players will soon find themselves out of the team.
Very next day, Ganguly was out on the Melbourne Cricket Ground with Australian Cricket Team teaching them benefits of being fit and flexible. Here is how the conversation went: -
Ganguly: - Hello fellow Mikes!! Do you know the secret behind my successfully captaincy of Cricket team for 15 long years?? It was my emphasis on fitness and flexibility and I want you to follow them as well.
Chappell (Taunting in his brother’s ears): - Hey Ian!! Isn’t he the one who hold the record for maximum number of dropped catches??? Ha!! Ha!! (Laugh silently)
Ganguly: - Grrr!!! Hey Greg!! Are you listening to what I am saying?? You are the most unfit member of this team. Do you realize that?? How can you motivate your team members to remain fit??
Chappell: - Sir!!! I’m working on my fitness. I haven’t drunk Fosters since last week.
Ganguly: - Foolish Crap!! Then why you have this mammoth bowl in your stomach??? Ok!! Don’t waste my time and stand there separately. I want to start a new training program for you huge monsters.
(Chappell quietly goes and stand separately)
Ganguly: - Hey!!! You, you, you and you (pointing to 4 team members), you all go and stand with Chappell.
(Four others went and stand along Chappell)
Ganguly: - Now, you all five go and jog for 5 rounds of this stadium. Quick, on your marks… Get… Set… Go!!! (Blowing his whistle).
Chappell (along with others): - What!!! Have you become crazy?? Do you know I live next door and still I have come here by my Mercedes?? No!! No!! I cannot do this. (Shaking his head in disbelief).
Ganguly: - Stop this nonsense!!! This is a fitness session and you have to follow my order else I will go the Chairman and lodge complaint against your behavior.
Chappell: - What do you think I am afraid of that old mindless crap?? He cannot hurt me an inch. It’s me who recommended his name on the board and you will complain him regarding my fitness… Ha!! Ha!! Go and do whatever you feel like.
Ganguly: - Is that your final answer???
Chappell: - Yes!! Do you know I haven’t run this much in my whole life (After saying this, he walks out of the stadium furiously)
Ganguly (thinking): - Hmmm!!! I need to teach him a big lesson.
(Soon he finishes the proceedings with remaining members and come to his hotel room)
He opens his laptop and start writing a letter to the Chairman, Cricket Australia. Here is the excerpt (It looks like a baggage of lies more than the letter): -
Sir,
First of all a very good evening!!
With high optimism in your governance; I would like to highlight some astonishing facts about some of the current team members in Australian Team.
Today, when I reached the ground at 7:30 AM, everyone was present expect the Captain Greg Chappell. I specifically told him last night to come early. On questioning him, he gave me justification that he had 5 bottles of Fosters last night in a Night Club and slept at 3:00 AM in the morning. That’s why he was late for the training session.
Despite this inexcusable answer, I asked him politely to freshen up and go for routine jog around the ground so that he can be fit by the time crucial series against England start next month.
Ignoring my remarks, he rather taunted me that I should call you and let you jog instead of him. He also said that that you need to be more fit than him before the series since you carry the entire Board Functionality on your aging shoulders.
After saying these abusing remarks, he left the ground with his short-skirted girl friend, kissing her in front of other team members to deviate them from fitness regime. He even slapped her butt and pointed to us and said, “Fitness lies here!!!”
Sir, I’m gravely disappointed with this unruly behavior. I would also like to acknowledge that he is an over weight monster and a financial burden on already over loaded baggage of Cricket team especially during overseas tours.
Though taking your position into consideration, I would like to highlight the recent form of his brother Ian Chappell and his extreme devotion towards fitness. Today, not only he participated in the fitness session with high enthusiasm but also told me secretly that Greg is eyeing your wife and is often seen mingling with her during official parties.
With these hurting and embarrassing moments, I would like to close this letter and with a hope that you will definitely intervene in this whole matter.
With Regards,
Saurav Ganguly
(Well!! As we can perceive, the very next day Greg Chappell was thrown out of the team and me out of the bed by my mother)
Today, I’m feeling a relieved man because my favorite Saurav Ganguly has finally taken his revenge, though admittedly in my dreamzzzzz)
