Friday, December 30, 2005
Ganguly Coaching Australian Cricket Team
As an avid cricket watcher, recent Ganguly-Chappell spat hurt me immensely. I was shattered and feeling pity on our former captain. Amidst my deep thinking and cursing Chappell for his ambiguous coaching tactics, I slept last night.
Without wasting much time, my dreams start preparing new pitch in their wonderland and my broken heart and shattered expectations started playing their shots on it. What I visualize was just the opposite of real life events!!!
I saw Mr. Creagh O’Connor (Chairman, Cricket Australia) announcing Honorable Mr. Ganguly as the new coach of Australian Cricket Team replacing old and butchered John Buchanan. He also announced that Greg Chappell would be the captain of Australian Team for upcoming Ashes series against England. Mr. Connor in his opening speech spoke optimistically about Saurav Ganguly and his laudable efforts in Indian Cricket. In between his words, he also cautioned Mr. Chappell about his recent poor form and fielding efforts and mentioned that under performing players will soon find themselves out of the team.
Very next day, Ganguly was out on the Melbourne Cricket Ground with Australian Cricket Team teaching them benefits of being fit and flexible. Here is how the conversation went: -
Ganguly: - Hello fellow Mikes!! Do you know the secret behind my successfully captaincy of Cricket team for 15 long years?? It was my emphasis on fitness and flexibility and I want you to follow them as well.
Chappell (Taunting in his brother’s ears): - Hey Ian!! Isn’t he the one who hold the record for maximum number of dropped catches??? Ha!! Ha!! (Laugh silently)
Ganguly: - Grrr!!! Hey Greg!! Are you listening to what I am saying?? You are the most unfit member of this team. Do you realize that?? How can you motivate your team members to remain fit??
Chappell: - Sir!!! I’m working on my fitness. I haven’t drunk Fosters since last week.
Ganguly: - Foolish Crap!! Then why you have this mammoth bowl in your stomach??? Ok!! Don’t waste my time and stand there separately. I want to start a new training program for you huge monsters.
(Chappell quietly goes and stand separately)
Ganguly: - Hey!!! You, you, you and you (pointing to 4 team members), you all go and stand with Chappell.
(Four others went and stand along Chappell)
Ganguly: - Now, you all five go and jog for 5 rounds of this stadium. Quick, on your marks… Get… Set… Go!!! (Blowing his whistle).
Chappell (along with others): - What!!! Have you become crazy?? Do you know I live next door and still I have come here by my Mercedes?? No!! No!! I cannot do this. (Shaking his head in disbelief).
Ganguly: - Stop this nonsense!!! This is a fitness session and you have to follow my order else I will go the Chairman and lodge complaint against your behavior.
Chappell: - What do you think I am afraid of that old mindless crap?? He cannot hurt me an inch. It’s me who recommended his name on the board and you will complain him regarding my fitness… Ha!! Ha!! Go and do whatever you feel like.
Ganguly: - Is that your final answer???
Chappell: - Yes!! Do you know I haven’t run this much in my whole life (After saying this, he walks out of the stadium furiously)
Ganguly (thinking): - Hmmm!!! I need to teach him a big lesson.
(Soon he finishes the proceedings with remaining members and come to his hotel room)
He opens his laptop and start writing a letter to the Chairman, Cricket Australia. Here is the excerpt (It looks like a baggage of lies more than the letter): -
Sir,
First of all a very good evening!!
With high optimism in your governance; I would like to highlight some astonishing facts about some of the current team members in Australian Team.
Today, when I reached the ground at 7:30 AM, everyone was present expect the Captain Greg Chappell. I specifically told him last night to come early. On questioning him, he gave me justification that he had 5 bottles of Fosters last night in a Night Club and slept at 3:00 AM in the morning. That’s why he was late for the training session.
Despite this inexcusable answer, I asked him politely to freshen up and go for routine jog around the ground so that he can be fit by the time crucial series against England start next month.
Ignoring my remarks, he rather taunted me that I should call you and let you jog instead of him. He also said that that you need to be more fit than him before the series since you carry the entire Board Functionality on your aging shoulders.
After saying these abusing remarks, he left the ground with his short-skirted girl friend, kissing her in front of other team members to deviate them from fitness regime. He even slapped her butt and pointed to us and said, “Fitness lies here!!!”
Sir, I’m gravely disappointed with this unruly behavior. I would also like to acknowledge that he is an over weight monster and a financial burden on already over loaded baggage of Cricket team especially during overseas tours.
Though taking your position into consideration, I would like to highlight the recent form of his brother Ian Chappell and his extreme devotion towards fitness. Today, not only he participated in the fitness session with high enthusiasm but also told me secretly that Greg is eyeing your wife and is often seen mingling with her during official parties.
With these hurting and embarrassing moments, I would like to close this letter and with a hope that you will definitely intervene in this whole matter.
With Regards,
Saurav Ganguly
(Well!! As we can perceive, the very next day Greg Chappell was thrown out of the team and me out of the bed by my mother)
Today, I’m feeling a relieved man because my favorite Saurav Ganguly has finally taken his revenge, though admittedly in my dreamzzzzz)
Without wasting much time, my dreams start preparing new pitch in their wonderland and my broken heart and shattered expectations started playing their shots on it. What I visualize was just the opposite of real life events!!!
I saw Mr. Creagh O’Connor (Chairman, Cricket Australia) announcing Honorable Mr. Ganguly as the new coach of Australian Cricket Team replacing old and butchered John Buchanan. He also announced that Greg Chappell would be the captain of Australian Team for upcoming Ashes series against England. Mr. Connor in his opening speech spoke optimistically about Saurav Ganguly and his laudable efforts in Indian Cricket. In between his words, he also cautioned Mr. Chappell about his recent poor form and fielding efforts and mentioned that under performing players will soon find themselves out of the team.
Very next day, Ganguly was out on the Melbourne Cricket Ground with Australian Cricket Team teaching them benefits of being fit and flexible. Here is how the conversation went: -
Ganguly: - Hello fellow Mikes!! Do you know the secret behind my successfully captaincy of Cricket team for 15 long years?? It was my emphasis on fitness and flexibility and I want you to follow them as well.
Chappell (Taunting in his brother’s ears): - Hey Ian!! Isn’t he the one who hold the record for maximum number of dropped catches??? Ha!! Ha!! (Laugh silently)
Ganguly: - Grrr!!! Hey Greg!! Are you listening to what I am saying?? You are the most unfit member of this team. Do you realize that?? How can you motivate your team members to remain fit??
Chappell: - Sir!!! I’m working on my fitness. I haven’t drunk Fosters since last week.
Ganguly: - Foolish Crap!! Then why you have this mammoth bowl in your stomach??? Ok!! Don’t waste my time and stand there separately. I want to start a new training program for you huge monsters.
(Chappell quietly goes and stand separately)
Ganguly: - Hey!!! You, you, you and you (pointing to 4 team members), you all go and stand with Chappell.
(Four others went and stand along Chappell)
Ganguly: - Now, you all five go and jog for 5 rounds of this stadium. Quick, on your marks… Get… Set… Go!!! (Blowing his whistle).
Chappell (along with others): - What!!! Have you become crazy?? Do you know I live next door and still I have come here by my Mercedes?? No!! No!! I cannot do this. (Shaking his head in disbelief).
Ganguly: - Stop this nonsense!!! This is a fitness session and you have to follow my order else I will go the Chairman and lodge complaint against your behavior.
Chappell: - What do you think I am afraid of that old mindless crap?? He cannot hurt me an inch. It’s me who recommended his name on the board and you will complain him regarding my fitness… Ha!! Ha!! Go and do whatever you feel like.
Ganguly: - Is that your final answer???
Chappell: - Yes!! Do you know I haven’t run this much in my whole life (After saying this, he walks out of the stadium furiously)
Ganguly (thinking): - Hmmm!!! I need to teach him a big lesson.
(Soon he finishes the proceedings with remaining members and come to his hotel room)
He opens his laptop and start writing a letter to the Chairman, Cricket Australia. Here is the excerpt (It looks like a baggage of lies more than the letter): -
Sir,
First of all a very good evening!!
With high optimism in your governance; I would like to highlight some astonishing facts about some of the current team members in Australian Team.
Today, when I reached the ground at 7:30 AM, everyone was present expect the Captain Greg Chappell. I specifically told him last night to come early. On questioning him, he gave me justification that he had 5 bottles of Fosters last night in a Night Club and slept at 3:00 AM in the morning. That’s why he was late for the training session.
Despite this inexcusable answer, I asked him politely to freshen up and go for routine jog around the ground so that he can be fit by the time crucial series against England start next month.
Ignoring my remarks, he rather taunted me that I should call you and let you jog instead of him. He also said that that you need to be more fit than him before the series since you carry the entire Board Functionality on your aging shoulders.
After saying these abusing remarks, he left the ground with his short-skirted girl friend, kissing her in front of other team members to deviate them from fitness regime. He even slapped her butt and pointed to us and said, “Fitness lies here!!!”
Sir, I’m gravely disappointed with this unruly behavior. I would also like to acknowledge that he is an over weight monster and a financial burden on already over loaded baggage of Cricket team especially during overseas tours.
Though taking your position into consideration, I would like to highlight the recent form of his brother Ian Chappell and his extreme devotion towards fitness. Today, not only he participated in the fitness session with high enthusiasm but also told me secretly that Greg is eyeing your wife and is often seen mingling with her during official parties.
With these hurting and embarrassing moments, I would like to close this letter and with a hope that you will definitely intervene in this whole matter.
With Regards,
Saurav Ganguly
(Well!! As we can perceive, the very next day Greg Chappell was thrown out of the team and me out of the bed by my mother)
Today, I’m feeling a relieved man because my favorite Saurav Ganguly has finally taken his revenge, though admittedly in my dreamzzzzz)
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Laloo playing Musical Chairs
Musical Chair is among the most popular party games where you move around set of chairs along with the music and as soon as it stops, you need to sit down at any chair to avoid being caught and penalized. In politics too, we often see leaders shuffling their portfolios as if they are playing musical chairs in the Parliament.
Yesterday night, I was dead tired after attending the party where this game was played. Somehow, current political issues like pathetic conditions in Bihar debated in the office were also knocking at my sub-conscious mind.
Hence as soon as I went to sleep, I see a new kind of gaming experience that can even run Sony Play station for its money. I saw our most respected leader Laloo Prasad Yadav playing musical chair in the Parliament. At times, he was on the Prime Minister’s seat, Finance Minister seat, Tourism Minister seat and even relaxed for a while on IT Minister’s seat.
I was out struck with this event and my mind threw lobby of questions that what Laloo would have done if he had given with actual responsibility of managing some of the key govt portfolios. Here is my view: -
1) Prime Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav: - As soon as Laloo being provided the Prime Minister’s chair, he will provide the perfect solution to solve Kashmir problem once in for all. Using his efficient communication skills, he will bargain with the US and Pakistan to handover Kashmir to India and offer them in lieu, the unconditional rule of Bihar for next 50 years… Also, he will announce running 10 daily flights between Patna and Lahore at nominal rates so that labor force from Bihar can get regular employment in the Walled City. Is it fair call Laloo “Santa Claus of Bihar??” J
2) Finance Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav: - If Laloo being provided with Finance Minister’s seat, a new wave of reforms can be expected from him. Taking cue from current financial reforms, we will expect Laloo to dilute govt stake in the President House and hand over its shares/revenues to a MNC where the son of his father’s nephew’s daughter is the owner. Also, we can expect historical places like Taj Mahal and India Gate is given under mortgage to get loans at attractive prices from ADB or The World Bank. Under him, whether India will glitter or gloom is yet to be seen?? J
3) Tourism Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav: - If you feel suspicious of his performance as a Tourism Minister, you are probably underestimating his abilities. Recent survey in Pakistan indicates Laloo among the top leaders, in terms of popularity, who ever visited the state of Pakistan. We have also seen Laloo soft toys selling like hot cake in markets today. No wonders, you will see Laloo mascot welcoming you when you arrive on Delhi’s international airport if he is appointed as the Tourism Minister. J
4) IT Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav: - My Dear friend, if you are laughing imagining Laloo as an IT minister, please first look at his 22nd Century ideas. Laloo’s vision belongs to next century when every household will have its own family call center where they will help politicians all over the world on how to use cattle as a tool to enhance personal financial prosperity.
Besides, recent rumors within the business circles indicate that Laloo, in view of recent environmental and law and order issues, is contemplating imposing ban on all call center cabs. Indeed, he is planning to introduce bullock carts in place of these cabs to fetch professionals from their house. J Who knows in next few years, you will see your mother fetching the chaara to bullock who has come to pick you for the office? J Hrrppp Basanti… J
5) Health Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav: - Laloo is geared up with full vigor to compete with China when he will be assigned as the Health Minister. Visualizing huge potential for Outsourcing work in the future, Laloo will change the theme “Hum Do, Hamaare Do” to “Hum Do, Hamaare Nau (nine)” to increase India’s population / future employees manifold times. We all are highly hopeful that under his experienced guidance, we will be able to defeat China in at least one front. J
While I was in midst of this amazing dream, my mother came and kicked me for sleeping till 11:00 AM in the morning, thereby, finishing my interesting Laloo’s dreamzzzz. Well, I heard that morning dreams always come fulfill…. Will that dream become a reality??? Your say…
Friends, do not forget to post your comments and share your thoughts on Laloo and how much do you rate his abilities in managing key portfolios in the government??? Well, we all are waiting for your answer….
Yesterday night, I was dead tired after attending the party where this game was played. Somehow, current political issues like pathetic conditions in Bihar debated in the office were also knocking at my sub-conscious mind.
Hence as soon as I went to sleep, I see a new kind of gaming experience that can even run Sony Play station for its money. I saw our most respected leader Laloo Prasad Yadav playing musical chair in the Parliament. At times, he was on the Prime Minister’s seat, Finance Minister seat, Tourism Minister seat and even relaxed for a while on IT Minister’s seat.
I was out struck with this event and my mind threw lobby of questions that what Laloo would have done if he had given with actual responsibility of managing some of the key govt portfolios. Here is my view: -
1) Prime Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav: - As soon as Laloo being provided the Prime Minister’s chair, he will provide the perfect solution to solve Kashmir problem once in for all. Using his efficient communication skills, he will bargain with the US and Pakistan to handover Kashmir to India and offer them in lieu, the unconditional rule of Bihar for next 50 years… Also, he will announce running 10 daily flights between Patna and Lahore at nominal rates so that labor force from Bihar can get regular employment in the Walled City. Is it fair call Laloo “Santa Claus of Bihar??” J
2) Finance Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav: - If Laloo being provided with Finance Minister’s seat, a new wave of reforms can be expected from him. Taking cue from current financial reforms, we will expect Laloo to dilute govt stake in the President House and hand over its shares/revenues to a MNC where the son of his father’s nephew’s daughter is the owner. Also, we can expect historical places like Taj Mahal and India Gate is given under mortgage to get loans at attractive prices from ADB or The World Bank. Under him, whether India will glitter or gloom is yet to be seen?? J
3) Tourism Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav: - If you feel suspicious of his performance as a Tourism Minister, you are probably underestimating his abilities. Recent survey in Pakistan indicates Laloo among the top leaders, in terms of popularity, who ever visited the state of Pakistan. We have also seen Laloo soft toys selling like hot cake in markets today. No wonders, you will see Laloo mascot welcoming you when you arrive on Delhi’s international airport if he is appointed as the Tourism Minister. J
4) IT Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav: - My Dear friend, if you are laughing imagining Laloo as an IT minister, please first look at his 22nd Century ideas. Laloo’s vision belongs to next century when every household will have its own family call center where they will help politicians all over the world on how to use cattle as a tool to enhance personal financial prosperity.
Besides, recent rumors within the business circles indicate that Laloo, in view of recent environmental and law and order issues, is contemplating imposing ban on all call center cabs. Indeed, he is planning to introduce bullock carts in place of these cabs to fetch professionals from their house. J Who knows in next few years, you will see your mother fetching the chaara to bullock who has come to pick you for the office? J Hrrppp Basanti… J
5) Health Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav: - Laloo is geared up with full vigor to compete with China when he will be assigned as the Health Minister. Visualizing huge potential for Outsourcing work in the future, Laloo will change the theme “Hum Do, Hamaare Do” to “Hum Do, Hamaare Nau (nine)” to increase India’s population / future employees manifold times. We all are highly hopeful that under his experienced guidance, we will be able to defeat China in at least one front. J
While I was in midst of this amazing dream, my mother came and kicked me for sleeping till 11:00 AM in the morning, thereby, finishing my interesting Laloo’s dreamzzzz. Well, I heard that morning dreams always come fulfill…. Will that dream become a reality??? Your say…
Friends, do not forget to post your comments and share your thoughts on Laloo and how much do you rate his abilities in managing key portfolios in the government??? Well, we all are waiting for your answer….
